momentum lost?

I think about writing all the time but I never get around to it. I realize the holidaze kind of just started but I am exhausted already. In the past I have been very sick with exhaustion in the summer and I feel like I'm slipping into the abyss once again. I have a new puppy that is extremely hard to handle. I really almost don't even like him. I know it is terrible but he is soooo defiant it drives me crazy.
I get very little sleep at night and last night he had to get up 5 times to go out! Thank God my friend slept over and I made him do it 3 times. Half the time he just wandered around. Its like he wants to party and hes looking for the scene! Yet we all want to sleep. I also ordered new sock monkey slippers and got them in the mail yesterday and he ate them to shreds while i sleep. Its hard not to beat the crap out of him. I want to go to training but he really doesn't need to learn to sit,stay, come. This is all stuff way beyond that. He is finally pretty much housebroken although I wouldn't trust him with that 100%. It is just really tough. I know everyone will scream" hes just a puppy" but it is insane.
I saw my sister on Thanksgiving. I went out to dinner with my mom and then we stopped over since she lives on the north shore where we had our dinner. When we arrived she was just sitting down to dinner with the in-laws and was kind of pissed we came. So we went in the living room and watched Mtv for like 25 min and left. It was very awkward. She just had a baby so I held her, as much as I didn't want to. I really dislike them. I know when you get older you are supposed to develop a relationship but I really don't like her. Its not like in 3rd grade and I hated her but we are both *adults* and don't like e/o so we don't talk. It kinda sucks but that's the reality. I just can't trust her. I also found out that for years she called me a lesbian to all her friends. Friends I saw all the time and were constantly around. That's really encouraging.
No big plans for Christmas. I am getting my first tree and having a small soiree this weekend. Im looking fwd to it although it is super stressful at the moment. My mum is very excited too. It should be about ten people and that is probably too many for my small condo but hopefully it will be okay!?
I have been talking alot to a person on the Internet and I'm hoping he comes so we can hang out, but I am not holding my breath.
I could go on and on but this is it for now!

blam!

thinking is hard sometimes
Originally uploaded by ms.MiaWalllace
I'm back, and I'm on attack!
It took some deep thinking and times of leaning on my knee and thinking deeply about the damage. So much has happened this year. I don't want to go into the gorey details but leets jus summarize, fake friends suck, blogs can hurt, boys are 99.9% bastards and NOONE just lays out how they feel for fear of a response; positive or negative. So, in synopsis it seems like a great deal of negative but, I suppose I learned some lessons. Lesson #1: never wear a yellow suit when doing Whiskey shots, makes you too visible.
But, alas, my same life is drudging forward. I saw my shrink yesterday and that was god since I havea good relationship with her. Things are goig down the shitter at work so it was good to discuss it. I see that I tend to act out when Im like totally sketched. Like I wat to just blow up my spot at work when, in fact, I should try to lay low and get my stuff done.
Im a very paranoid person in every way, shape, and form. Its bad. I think it is from all the drugs I used to do when I was younger. I lived a subversive life and I think eveyone getting arrested and trafficing drugs constantly didn't help the paranoia one bit.
Today on my loooong commute to work, I looked at the car next to me. I see a good amount of carpoolers cuz I drive through a very hippy area. I glanced over and this woman was curling her eyelashes as the car drove. I thought that must be very risky to do. She must really need curled eyelashes for some reason.
Im a pretty random girl, I do random things and think random thoughts.
This blog is in NO way intended to hurt or harm anyone. If you know me you know everything is said in "jest" just the way I am. Please don't take life too seriously folks
and; who is Mia?
obligatory hip hop line:" put your clothes back on before you start puttin pot holes in my lawn"